Dissing Kissing

Oh, dear. This is a mess.

A young boy with several future entries in this series, to whom we will refer only by his first name John, spent one study hall brashly reading aloud articles in a women's magazine (presumably Seventeen or some such), which got him into a spot of trouble with the librarian. His punishment was to read and analyze an article from the magazine entitled "Dissing Kissing" and write a report on it. This is what he handed in. Yeah, written in red marker. It's accompanied by the roll call list the librarian stapled to it before handing it on to his teacher (you always know you've got a good one when it has the words "See Me" on it!). I don't know how we managed to wrest this one away from the administration, but I have the original manuscript.

Archival scholars have transliterated John's Sütterlin below the images, to the best of current knowledge on this man's unique script.

Text of the essay:

Thumb in my mouth is about Dissing Kissing is a article about girls who hate kissing, because they dont like it. These girls are [unintelligible] lesbians Femnots who think it b becaue theres is sumthin wrong w/them, which there is. I hate babes like that, and they are probably fat, pimple covered virgins. Get A Life. These girls should be [unintelligible] slores. They should become blonds + have lots of makeout sessions and sex and do lots of drugs party [animals?] 4 life.